"...Why is it that there was always a unit on history, math, science, and God knows what other useless, totally forgettable information...but never any unit on death? No exercises, no workbooks, no final exams on the only subject that matters?" a man asks, as his wife lies "clinging to the last inhumane shred of life," in Nicole Krauss' highly acclaimed novel Great House.
Dr. Pauline W. Chen raises similar questions in her beautifully written and insightful bestseller Final Exam, A Surgeon's Reflections on Mortality as she describes how medical students are trained to depersonalize death, how she came to terms with her own mortality and shared humanity with her patients, and the "small but hopeful transformations," she sees, "in how doctors approach end-of-life care."
Dr. Pauline W. Chen raises similar questions in her beautifully written and insightful bestseller Final Exam, A Surgeon's Reflections on Mortality as she describes how medical students are trained to depersonalize death, how she came to terms with her own mortality and shared humanity with her patients, and the "small but hopeful transformations," she sees, "in how doctors approach end-of-life care."
Even as some in the medical community take a more humanistic approach, most of us—patients, families and physicians—are unprepared for the complex realities of dying, Dr Chen writes, even those of us who have Advance Directives.
More treatment is often confused with more love, Dr. Chen explains, an inability of family members to let go. And, once treatment is started, both family and physicians find it difficult to simply stop when so much has been done already. As a result, millions of dollars are spent each year in heroic, yet futile, attempts to prolong life. Patients are often subjected to unnecessary procedures and needless suffering, losing precious time that could have been spent with family.
Unfortunately, recent efforts to encourage people to talk with their doctors and families about their preferences for end-of-life care have been undermined by political rhetoric and false rumors of "death panels." We may have missed an opportunity for a coherent national discussion about end-of-life care and death but that doesn't rule out our having thoughtful personal conversations with loved ones.
A few nights ago, I heard someone say, "Sue had a good death." By that the person meant not only did Sue have her affairs in order and receive excellent care and support but she also had time to prepare emotionally and spiritually. She left this world without leaving any unfinished business behind.
In The Four Things That Matter Most, Dr. Ira Byock, a palliative care specialist, discusses the emotionally healing power of "Please forgive me." "I forgive you." "Thank you." "I love you." and the importance of those words at every stage of our journey. It is subtitled, A Book About Living.
Resources
At Caring Connections you will find information and support for planning ahead, caring for a loved one, living with an illness, and grieving a loss. A program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, Caring Connections also offers a Helpline and Multilingual line as well as state-specific advance directives and instructions. Home page: http://www.caringinfo.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=1
The mission of Caring.com is to help the helper by providing articles, tools, a comprehensive local directory of caregiving services, and the collective wisdom of an involved community. Content includes advice from a team of more than 50 trusted leaders in geriatric medicine, law, finance, housing, and other key areas of healthcare and eldercare. www.caring.com
Articles of Interest
What to Say to a Person Who Is Sick. http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2010/09/person-sick.html
What Is the Difference Between Palliative Care and Hospice? http://www.caring.com/articles/whats-the-difference-between-hospice-and-palliative-care
How to Say Goodbye When Someone You Love Is Dying. http://www.caring.com/articles/how-to-say-goodbye
More treatment is often confused with more love, Dr. Chen explains, an inability of family members to let go. And, once treatment is started, both family and physicians find it difficult to simply stop when so much has been done already. As a result, millions of dollars are spent each year in heroic, yet futile, attempts to prolong life. Patients are often subjected to unnecessary procedures and needless suffering, losing precious time that could have been spent with family.
Unfortunately, recent efforts to encourage people to talk with their doctors and families about their preferences for end-of-life care have been undermined by political rhetoric and false rumors of "death panels." We may have missed an opportunity for a coherent national discussion about end-of-life care and death but that doesn't rule out our having thoughtful personal conversations with loved ones.
In The Four Things That Matter Most, Dr. Ira Byock, a palliative care specialist, discusses the emotionally healing power of "Please forgive me." "I forgive you." "Thank you." "I love you." and the importance of those words at every stage of our journey. It is subtitled, A Book About Living.
Resources
At Caring Connections you will find information and support for planning ahead, caring for a loved one, living with an illness, and grieving a loss. A program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, Caring Connections also offers a Helpline and Multilingual line as well as state-specific advance directives and instructions. Home page: http://www.caringinfo.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=1
The mission of Caring.com is to help the helper by providing articles, tools, a comprehensive local directory of caregiving services, and the collective wisdom of an involved community. Content includes advice from a team of more than 50 trusted leaders in geriatric medicine, law, finance, housing, and other key areas of healthcare and eldercare. www.caring.com
Articles of Interest
What to Say to a Person Who Is Sick. http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2010/09/person-sick.html
What Is the Difference Between Palliative Care and Hospice? http://www.caring.com/articles/whats-the-difference-between-hospice-and-palliative-care
How to Say Goodbye When Someone You Love Is Dying. http://www.caring.com/articles/how-to-say-goodbye
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